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Interests: Crocheting, Reading, Snowboarding and Scrapbooking (maybe one day I'll pick up my guitar again)
Expertise: MIS I'm in grad school as well - working on my MBA degree at Stevens I.T.
Occupation: Computer related
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|About 2 weeks ago, I decided to dust off my mom's old Brother sewing machine and give it a test run. Since it had been stored in my attic for at least 2 years (and unused for who knows how long), it's no surprise that it didn't work well at all. I thought it might be past the point of fixing but I took it in to a local shop to see if it could be salvaged. As it turns out.... it could! It just needed a full service and cleaning.|
For the past year I've been lurking around a cloth diaper sewing forum just soaking in all of the advice. But this week, I decided to actually give it a whirl. And so this is what I came up with.
My first diaper:
It was created from the free Rita's Rump Pocket pattern. I bought some scrap white fleece for the outer but I had no idea if it was anti-pill fleece or not (my guess was no). But after washing it, it still looks great! the inside layer is made from an old flannel receiving blanket. This diaper needs a pin or snappi to keep it closed but I'm hoping to invest in a snap press so I can add snaps! I'm pretty happy with how it came out and the gussets weren't as tough as I thought they'd be - but my stitch lines were a bit wobbly. I stuffed it with a BabyKicks hemp insert and it fit like a glove! Now I just need to test it on little G!
And my second diaper:
For this one, I modified the RRP pattern so that it looked a little more like a BumGenius or FuzziBunz. I made the wings shorter but next time I might add a little length to the center and height to the front rise. The outside layer is hidden PUL with a soccer ball fabric on top. The inside is microsuede and it's SO soft! Hopefully this works well with wicking. In the picture, it's stuffed with another BabyKicks hemp insert but I also have some Swaddlebees bamboo inserts that will work. Once I get some snap pliers, I'll be adding a bunch of snaps to make this a one-size (OS) pocket diaper!
And since these came out WAY better than I ever expected..... I've now got the sewing bug! I have another cute print that I plan to make a diaper out of and I also plan to make some fleece longies and some wetbags!
|Tomorrow morning, I'm going to a free "hot yoga" class. I'm both scared and excited. I've been wanting to do yoga for a while now but I'm so out of shape and I'm worried I'll look like a fool. Hopefully I'm not the only newb in the class!|
Say a little prayer for me
|So last night Mike decided to throw a shit fit right before we went up to bed. Seriously? As if I'm not missing enough sleep these days, you're going to throw some heavy shit on me RIGHT before bed?!|
It was over the most idiotic little thing but apparently I've been 'complaining' about everything and it's been getting to him. Well - if this WERE true - why the hell doesn't he tell me that it's annoying him? NO - he has to flip the f out over nothing at all at the most random time because he lets things pile up inside!
I seriously cried on my pillow while imagining a life where I were divorced because I just couldn't live like this anymore. I mean, we're generally fine and we don't ever fight. So stuff like this shocks me when it does happen. And my insecurities start jumping up to the surface because I don't really feel like Mike likes me at all. He never ever tells me that he loves me.... besides giving me a card that says it on holidays or my birthday (and he just signs his name on the bottom). And he doesn't hug me or kiss me throughout the day. We also sit on opposite ends of the couch and when I snuggle up to him he just keeps on sitting there.
I can only take so much before I start to question his love. And yeah, we have sex... but you don't need love to do that.
There are so many times when I think that I really would like to get back to blogging on a regular basis. But then life gets in the way.... and by the time I do have some time to sit down and process stuff - I draw a blank on what to write about.
So here's a random topic that often slips into my brain from time to time:
It's Genital Integrity Awareness Week
I know, it sounds really weird. And it's actually quite controversial around the (new) parenting world in the US. What I'm talking about is infant male* circumcision. I'm telling you, it's one of the hottest topics around the internet if you're a soon-to-be mama. And when I was pregnant, this topic really confused me and I had no idea what the 'right' answer was. Should I get my son circumcised or not???? Well after much discussion with doctors and research on the internets, Mike and I decided against circumcision. I sort of figured it was better to not do it if I was conflicted at all. Mostly because reversing a circumcision isn't an easy thing (but it's kind-of-sort-of possible). And I think the argument that worked most on Mike was that the foreskin contains over 20,000 nerve endings, while the actually tip of a penis only has 8,000. So why the heck would anyone want to chop that off???
So we had our decision even before we knew we were having a boy. And now that I actually have an intact son, I just thank God that I made the 'right' choice! I've done so much more research about this topic after my son was born and I'm slowly turning into an intactivist. The more information that I come across the more I'm confused as to why any informed person would allow circumcision to happen. It just saddens me so much. And I honestly think that it should be banned as a practice on infants (who have no choice in the matter).
I'm not going to go into all of the controversial reasons for or against it here because I'm not posting this as a rant on why YOU shouldn't have your son's penis cut. And my best friend actually had her son circumcised and I held my tongue because I wanted to respect her decision. I guess I just want to blurt out what's been weighing on my mind. And it's just so heavy that I can't shake it from my head.
Is this what becoming a parent does to you? Yikes.
*I had to specify that it was about male circumcision because female circumcision is against the law.... go figure.
July 16th changed my life. So did the 2 days of labor before that!
I had every intention of immediately journaling about my wonderful, natural childbirth. I really did! But when things didn't go my way (or actually went exactly the opposite) I just couldn't bring myself to talk or write about it for a long time. I think it was a full month before I could have a really short conversation with someone about it without crying my eyes out.
Let me stop here to take a moment to say that July 16th was the best day of my life. But in many other ways, it's something that I've had to 'mourn' as well. And I know that there are only a handful of women who understand this feeling and I'm fine with that. If you want to judge me - you'll do it whether I like it or not.
So yes, I have a wonderfully healthy and beautiful baby boy! He's my everything and I'm so terribly attached to him that it makes my heart ache to have to go to work during the week. And while our journey together through pregnancy was pretty great.... our labor was a true trial. His birth taught me so much.
I went with a midwifery group in the hopes that I'd have an intervention-free labor and birth. If I could've had things my way - I would've had a homebirth. But I respected my husband's reservations and compromised by going to a hospital that had birthing 'suites' where you could deliver in a tub. So the pregnancy went really well and I enjoyed seeing my midwives for checkups. That is, until my very last prenatal visit. I was 8 days overdue and was scheduled for an ultrasound to check on the placenta. I always knew that I'd go over my due date..... it's pretty 'normal' for a first time mom to see her due date come and go with no baby to show for it. But I just really 'knew' that I was going to be baking my little one for a bit longer than the norm.
My baby was never big on moving in utero. He moved here and there but he slept a whole lot. There was never any alarm during my entire pregnancy because we were both healthy and his heartbeat was perfect. Well - apparently it turns into a "your baby could die" situation when people want to talk you into an induction. So yeah, my baby only moved a tiny bit during his last ultrasound - and his cord was around his neck, twice. Those 2 things might have been just fine..... but he was also estimated at 9 lbs 9 oz and that's what sent my midwives into a tizzy. And they actually did pull the 'dead baby' card on me. So Mike and I agreed to the induction after unsuccessfully trying to convince them to let me just go home for the night to relax. And they agreed to let me have dinner that night! HAH!
Yeah..... my dinner was chicken broth and an ice pop. Suck on that one!
Fast forward one full night of Pitocin and nothing has happened (not even any sleeping on my part). A different midwife came in the morning to check on me. She washed her hands and immediately got ready to give me a pelvic exam. Well - good morning to you, too! The exam she gave me was the most physical one I've had in my life and I truly do feel that I was abused in some way. I was sobbing through the entire thing and trying to push her off..... but she kept at it and got snippy with me because I was making her job tough. The result? She broke my water with her hand. That's right! She didn't use one of those nice little poking tools because she knew I wouldn't agree to having my water broken. Instead - she did it herself without asking. She claimed it was "spontaneous" and that's what was put into my records. But I call bullshit.
After that, I HAD to deliver my baby within 48 hours.
So after over 30 hours of laboring without pain meds, my baby wasn't any closer to coming out (even though I was 7 cm dilated). And his heart rate was so steady that it actually surprised the OB that was on call. Usually a baby's heart rate will drop a bit during contractions. But not MY baby. It was almost as if he wasn't really bothered at all by my laboring nonsense and he was just sleeping away in my womb. I really believe that it just wasn't his time yet. But the midwives will swear that it's because of how big he was. So at 5:57pm on July 16th, my baby was born via c-section. And yes, he was large! He weighed 9 lbs 8 oz and was extremely healthy.
Whenever people hear that I had a large baby, they immediately think that it's a good thing I had a c-section. And I guess a lot of women wouldn't want to push a large baby out of their nether regions. But I'm not your typical gal - I'd take a natural, spontaneous childbirth over a c-section any day!
And one thing I'll never forget about July 16th.... at around 3pm.... My husband hugged and sobbed with me over my disappointment. But almost 3 hours later, we were smiling and on cloud nine!
I've pulled through a ton of emotions and have made it to the other side.